Relationship with a married man. Psychology of relationships with a married man
Every woman wants to be happy. For some, this is an interesting job, for someone - traveling. But still, almost everyone dreams of a happy family. A caring husband, healthy, cheerful children, a cozy home ... But sometimes it happens that a beloved man already has a family. And the house is, and children. Relationship with a married man is not an easy burden.
Lover and mistress
Mistresses are not always unhappy. There are women who quite consciously make contact with a married man. And this situation suits them perfectly. Let's say a married lady is just looking for pleasure on the side. A man with a family for such purposes would be perfect. He will be careful and prudent, will not bother with calls and SMS. It would never occur to the father of the family to glance over to his beloved, in order to talk seriously with her husband. A purely functional relationship in which both partners are looking for what they lack in marriage. Adrenaline, romance, intimate moments that are unacceptable for a spouse.
The second option - the classic lover. Beautiful well-groomed girl who is just looking for a "sponsor". She is not so much interested in a man as his wallet, so he is married or not, is not so important. Nothing personal, just business. And if such a girl decides to lead a man out of the family, it is not because of suddenly flared feelings. It is rather a raider seizure, not a love drama. And why? After all, a lover can always be changed to a richer or more attractive man, and a divorced man will pay alimony and help his ex-wife.
Option for singles
Business-women also do not always want to get married. If a woman is satisfied with her own life, but you just want to start a non-binding romance, a relationship with a married man is ideal. Stable, comfortable, trouble-free communication that does not cause inconvenience.A married man will not be jealous of his hobbies and work, he does not need to be washed and cooked - there is a legal spouse for that. Lovely conversations, joint dinners in some uncrowded café and high-quality sex are all that a lover needs from a partner. A marriage in her plans is not included.
Is it easy to be a mistress
But cases when the lady agrees to the role of mistress, without claiming to be more, the exception rather than the rule. The attitude of a married man to a woman can be simply fabulous - care, material assistance, bouquets every weekend. But the ladies still need not this. They dream that one day a loved one will divorce his hateful wife and marry. Maybe not now, maybe later, but necessarily marry. They have been waiting for this for years, hoping for happiness.
Such relationships require a woman of great patience and self-denial. It is necessary constantly, every minute to be in "alert". What if he calls right now? Suddenly will find a free moment and go? Or maybe, on the contrary, he will make an appointment, but he will not come, because he had to go to the mother-in-law for dinner ... I had to listen without complaint to endless complaints about my wife, stories about children, when any mention of someone else's family is given in my heart by deep pain. Letting go of the beloved, each time realizing that he is leaving for another woman. He kisses her in the hallway, eats the dinner she has made, goes to bed with her. It's very hard.
Men are in no hurry to leave
Sometimes women start dating married men just for fun, and then their relationships are delayed and not released.But more often, they do not even suspect that their elect is married. Truth becomes a shock to them. It would seem, should immediately end the relationship with a married man. But many ladies forgive deception. They are waiting and hoping. Such a relationship often lasts for years, leading a woman to despair.
What makes the ladies maintain a relationship with a married man? The psychology underlying such a connection usually has some internal wormhole. A woman who is confident in herself, satisfied with life and surroundings, will not condemn herself to endless waiting. Yes, surely everyone will be able to name a couple of men who still went from their wives to their mistresses. But this is a drop in the ocean. Usually husbands "go left" for years, but if they still decide on an act, then, as a rule, they throw a mistress, and not a family.
Yes, and public opinion has always condemned the "separated", blaming them for the destruction of the family hearth. The statement, of course, controversial.
The decision is made by a man, and if he wants to have a mistress - he will lead her, not this one, so different. And if you decide to leave the family, then leave. Maybe not even a woman, but a mother. Or in a hotel room, yes anywhere.When the husband leaves the family, it means that the family as such has not existed for a long time. A lover - just a logical consequence of the situation. The attitude of a married man to his mistress is often quite functional. This is she in love. A man, at best, fascinated and simply uses someone else's weakness.
Mistress - who is it?
Yet women are not in a hurry to break off relations with a married man. Psychology explains this by some specific traits originally present in the character.
Chronic mistresses are usually extremely insecure. The inner conviction that she is not worthy of the best makes a woman transfer all her dreams and aspirations to the man that is available. Subconsciously, she is afraid to take risks, afraid to be completely alone. At the same time, the paradox of the situation is that such a woman is to some extent also enjoying the situation. Deeply experiencing their own imaginary unattractiveness, she seeks to prove to herself and others that she is not only no worse - better than the rest! And what could be a more weighty argument in this kind of dispute than a man recaptured from a rival?
In addition, the status of the mistress has some romantic aura, albeit very controversial. Psychology defines relations with a married man as attractive by its ambiguity. On the one hand, this is proof of female attractiveness, on the other hand, it is a reason to feel like a victim of circumstances. And self-pity is a pretty pleasant feeling. And a great excuse for any wrongdoing and blunders. “Yes, it was stupid. But how can you judge me? I'm so unhappy! ”
Another last chance
Often mistresses are waiting for a man for years, although it seems to be obvious that he is not going to leave the family. Every time a new excuse, every time a new argument.Psychology characterizes relations with a married man as delaying. Woman gets used. She convinces herself to believe once again, now it is the last one. Although one last was already. And one more. And further. After all, it seems that the goal is so close ... It is always hard to admit one’s own mistakes. The point is not that the man is so convincing. Just a woman does not want to face the truth. So much energy spent on waiting, so many nerves for nothing.
And the woman tries more and more.She climbs out of her skin to become the best, and all in the hope that her loved one will appreciate the effort. In this case, a man just does not care. He is comfortable, he is satisfied with this state of affairs. Perhaps even his wife had already got used to constant betrayal and got used to it. So the unfortunate lover is the only one who seeks to break the knot tightening all the time.
Breaking a relationship is necessary
Although it really tends? Does she really need a family? If this is her goal, then what prevents you from breaking a relationship with a married man?
Then you can move on, look for someone who is ready to start a family. That's just the mistress does not do that. According to psychologists, this is due to the fact that in fact a woman is afraid of such responsibility and subconsciously looks for a way to evade her. And what is better for this than hopeless love?
Those women who really want to break out of the vicious circle and go forward must first of all work on themselves. Break all ties with a lover, change the phone number and lock in the door. And then go to a psychologist. Friends will not help here, you need a professional.He will help to survive a difficult moment and tell you how to change yourself. Both the inferiority complex and self-disbelief are just psychological problems that can and must be dealt with. Only by removing the internal causes, you can really change your life, create it again.