How to understand yourself and your feelings?
In each person's life there is a period when there is a need to understand oneself and think about work or study, about close people, one’s own appearance, children or about the soul. Often this happens at the moment when something goes wrong. Striving for self-analysis is a useful quality, it gives an opportunity to correct something in your life and find harmony. Thirst for change is most often caused by psychological problems. To understand how to understand yourself, help books on this topic and expert advice.
Where do psychological problems come from?
If a person experiences internal discomfort and dissatisfaction, which do not disappear even after the situation changes and the external world, we can talk about a psychological problem. People create themselves, therefore sometimes it is necessary to direct all forces and efforts to learn how to understand yourself and understand what you want. Excuses for inaction can always be found, but it does not help to become happy. To find harmony, you need to work on yourself, study special literature or visit a psychologist.To enjoy every day, you need to be patient and tune in to the positive.
When thinking about how to understand yourself, you should know that a person, in fact, has only two aspirations: “striving for ...” and “striving from ...”. Often the problem is twofold: a person wants to achieve a goal, but for some reason cannot do it. At the same time, due to psychological problems, there is a fear of achieving goals. These processes can take place both at the subconscious level and at the semi-conscious. It is important not to hide from the problem and recognize that it exists. Then it will be much easier to solve it.
To make it easier to understand how to understand yourself and your feelings, you need to realize that all psychological problems are subjective. A constructive approach and the absence of destructive ways of achieving goals are integral to success.
Types of internal conflicts
Experts identify the most common types of internal problems, analyzing which, you can understand how to understand yourself and your feelings:
- Frustration. This concept includes strong internal experiences that arise as a result of failures in overcoming both the real barriers to the goal and imaginary ones.This condition may be accompanied by anger, guilt, or resentment.
- Intrapersonal conflict. It occurs when there is a conflict of interests, desires or values within a person. Emotional experiences can be quite strong.
- Psychological trauma involves mental damage as a result of very difficult experiences. They can be caused by various factors: illness, death of a loved one, divorce, stress, conflicts and others. As a result of psychological trauma, the thinking, perception and behavior of a person are disturbed.
- Neurotic reactions. They can manifest in the form of fear, anxiety or anxiety and result from difficult life situations.
- Problems originating from childhood: parental prohibition of joy, repressed emotions, anger, sexuality, complexes and destructive attitudes.
- Loss of the meaning of life. When a person cannot find his place in life and does not feel himself in demand, an existential vacuum is formed inside him.
- Conflicts with other people. Quarrels and misunderstandings in the family, at work and with others can cause various mental disorders.
- Crisis stages in life.Such periods are the norm, so a person should be ready for them.
- Disharmony. If a person cannot perceive himself as a single whole and his personal facets are in permanent imbalance, psychological problems and disturbances arise.
Whatever reason is observed in a person, in any case, it will prevent him from achieving goals. Not achieving the desired results, people begin to convince themselves that the desired object is not so necessary for them, and they will completely live without it. But in his heart they still dream of him even more. It causes discomfort, worries and negative. To find peace, the psychological problem must be recognized and solved.
This concept implies the property of a person to justify his actions and find excuses. Self-deception is one of the most destructive types of deception. It interferes with personal growth and self-realization, so first of all you need to stop lying to yourself.
There are no perfect people, so everyone can commit an act for which he will be ashamed. Naturally, it is not pleasant to remember this, and a person hides the negative on the mezzanine of memory.But this path will not lead to success. Psychologists advise in the smallest details to relive this situation once again, admit their own mistakes and forgive themselves. The past should not affect the present and the future.
Set a timeline
Do not be worth trying to figure out how to understand yourself in a short time. It is necessary to solve internal problems gradually, setting a specific time for yourself. Then, at a subconscious level, a person will try to correct the situation and get rid of depressing thoughts.
Popular literature and personal diary
To help find out how to understand people, can special psychological literature. If it is difficult to do it yourself, it is better to contact a specialist.
The habit of keeping a diary will be extremely useful for personal growth. Periodically re-reading it, you can easily identify hidden goals and motives, to understand what is really important and necessary.
"No" to self-flagellation!
Many people are prone to self-digging, but to achieve inner harmony, it is necessary to get rid of it. A person can understand what he wants only when he learns to accept himself as he is.No need to compare yourself with others, they have different values, desires and a different way. It is necessary to accept their shortcomings and positive qualities. Trying to be perfect, a person destroys himself from the inside. When it comes to the realization that no one is perfect, it will be much easier to accept yourself and love.
Often a person thinks about how to understand himself, at the moment when he loses his purpose in life. Alien desires, which are given out for their own, are not a sufficient stimulus. Over time, they cease to motivate the person, and he forgets about them. Only true desires and aspirations cause a genuine feeling of happiness and tranquility. To identify them, you must be honest with yourself and not be cunning.
Love or not love?
One of the most common questions that almost every person asks himself at a certain period of his life sounds like this: “How to understand yourself: love or not?” Any relationship has many faces, both positive and negative. It is the latter that make you think about whether a loved one is really near.
As experience shows, to begin to appreciate something, it is necessary to lose. The method is cardinal, but effective. Often the relationship with time, "pall", lost sharpness of feelings and emotions. I want to change everything and make a novel full of passion and joy. But after parting, it becomes clear that no one can replace the familiar, close and dear person next to. And returning a relationship is much more difficult than breaking up. Therefore, before drastically changing life and making such a responsible decision, it is better to try to revive the relationship and bring in new colors.
For those who do not know how to understand themselves and their thoughts, the advice of a psychologist will be very useful. Better to start with a conversation with himself. It is important to understand if the criteria for love and love are not confused when evaluating. Over time, feelings cannot remain as bright and fresh, they are transformed into respect, mutual understanding, trust and support.
To make it easier to decide, you need to give yourself honest answers to such questions:
- Do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life?
- Is there trust in the relationship?
- What sacrifices can a man make?
- Is there a desire to share sorrows and troubles?
If you analyze the answers, much will become clear. You can talk about love, if most of them are positive.
To find harmony you need to know how to understand yourself. Every day, psychology is becoming an increasingly popular science, because it helps to solve internal problems. Experts advise on paper to write down their innermost desires and goals. To achieve them, it is necessary to determine what needs to be done and where to start. Only by determining the cause of disharmony, you can eliminate it and become happy.