How to distinguish love from love in a man? How to distinguish love from love in adolescents?
Oh, love! It is the creative power of being that subordinates everything to itself. And only a person asks questions about how to distinguish love from love, instead of just eating the goodness of being. But once there is a request, we are ready to satisfy it.
Love as an affect
There may be two ways.
- You can open the topic through the images.
- You can go to a dry scientific language.
The second way is not close to us (we suspect that to most readers, too), so we will use the universal language of mental pictures.
Affect is a strong emotion. Imagine you set fire to paper, and it burns in a minute. This is how our experiences “burn through” during the affect.
"At a drunken party ..."
And do not make such a face. Alcohol, in addition to negative qualities, has some positive ones. For example, it reduces the level of control of consciousness over the feelings of a person.
Each of us had such a classmate that we really wanted to hug, but we could not decide.
And here passes 10 years from the date of graduation from school. Everyone is celebrating. All funny and drunk in the insole. And the man is left alone with her, and suddenly “the passion of Morozov grabbed with his callused hand,” and “the love of all school life” lends itself. Then something happens that usually happens in such cases. He doesn't call her anymore, she calls him too. School complexes left together with the sweat of the first and last love night.
What was it? How to distinguish love from love in this case? Everything is simple here: it is love that is marinated for long years. After all, two people do not bind anything except memories, and in an effort to catch up with the passing youth, they fall into each other’s arms.
Adolescence is the time of spontaneous love, and therefore insane. Love is generally much more fun than love. Love is something fundamental, rooted in the deep layers of metaphysical and everyday life. Love is an easy barefoot girl who does not know how to cook, does not want to have children and keep house. She withers in such conditions.Love is the emanation and embodiment of sexual energy as it is. This is almost pure sexual attraction with a slight touch of romanticism. The motto of love: "I want!". Unfortunately or fortunately, only a teenager or a young man can fall into this insane state when he is not burdened with any worries. And then it’s impossible to fall in love like that. Then either sexual attraction without any romanticism, what went wrong, or true love, which, although based on passion, is no longer so crazy. Love has its advantages, but, unfortunately, it is no longer a child of spontaneity, like love. Love is an adult young girl with clearly defined priorities. To keep her, you need to work a lot, and, above all, on yourself. We hope you understand now how to distinguish love from love.
Teenage love is impossible. Why?
Someone will resent and shout about Romeo and Juliet. Calmly They had love. In addition, if it were not for all these obstacles, and the heads of the warring families would have said in one voice, “Lord, what is it with us? Marry, children, health, and we will wait for the grandchildren with impatience ”, how much longer would the love of the most famous teenage couple live? We do not know, but certainly not for long.
Difficulties benefit senses
And yes, there is another vulgar wording (perhaps, once it was a deep thought, but over time it was rather worn out): difficulties temper love and throw firewood into her fire. Eh, Montagues and Capulets didn’t show psychological sensitivity, but in that case there would have been no Shakespeare tragedy. However, we digress. Please be patient and calm. All this is somehow related to the topic: "How to distinguish love from love?".
Sinclair Lewis and his "love schemes"
Sinclair Lewis, who was not always the most demanded writer and Nobel Prize winner, was once a literary woman: he wrote simple love stories for newspapers and magazines. He invented several schemes according to which events in his works were to develop. They paid pennies for them, but the American writer wrote them in 15 pieces per evening. And here in these patterns there were always difficulties, partings, then reunions.
Eternal theme: boy and girl
Adolescents can not form a stable, long-term relationship, as the boy and the girl have different motives. The boy wants a girl, and the girl wants romance and beautiful relationships.The choice of a young lady can not give her that due to natural hormonal causes and general psychological immaturity.
Therefore, the question of how to distinguish love from love in adolescents is a bit idle. At this time there is no love, and it can not be as a union of two people focused on the distant future.
Someone will say: “But there are people who live together all their lives, isn’t this love?” Different answers are possible here. But these people have grown together with each other, where is the guarantee that this is not a habit or convenience? In this case, love itself has become obsolete, and love has taken its place. This also happens, but do not confuse one and the other.
What does the phrase "I love you" mean?
It is so often pronounced by all who feel like it. We already forget what it really means. We will try to return her original meaning. “I love you” means “I want children from you and I’m ready to grow old with you (near and together).” All other interpretations are from evil.
A natural question arises: how to distinguish love from love in a man?
House. Children. Dogs and cats
If a man does not stutter about anything like that, then he thoroughly fools a woman’s head. Maybe it's love, maybe just lust. The latter is more likely. If a man does not make plans for the future, it means that he does not see a woman in them.
And for women it is always a very painful question (how to distinguish love from love). Psychology can give an answer: the motives are key here, that is, the answer to the question “Why?”.
Why does a man meet with a woman, what does he expect, what does he offer? Having answered these, we will not be afraid of this word, eternal riddles, you will resolve the situation anyway.
Wives and mistresses are not only different concepts, but also categories of women
The sign of our time is the consumption of people and things. There is nothing surprising in the fact that people are afraid of being deceived. This is especially true of women, because their youth is not eternal. A girl should achieve some definition in her personal life to 25 years. Under the “definition” should not be understood precisely the wedding, children, etc., but at least the final choice of who it is possible. When a girl makes the most important bet in her intimate life, she probably should not be wondering how to distinguish love from love. The short answer here could be: in relation to the beloved man to her.
By the same criterion, one can understand whether a woman for a man is a mistress or a future wife.Again, we return to the damned petty-bourgeois side of life: whether he wants to have cats, dogs, give birth to a girl with a girl, then make a living cocktail of happiness out of animals and children, if - yes, he is yours and you are his. If not, then run, for you are either a mistress or a future housekeeper, who will have a house and children, as well as maintaining some kind of warm atmosphere in the family, where everything is already covered with cold frost of alienation.
It is clear that this is not very concrete and very figurative, but if you ask how to distinguish love from love, the answers may be very different and always individual, for psychology is not mathematics, and in the “queen of sciences” everything is not as definite as it can seem.
Modern marriage is a space of alienation. Why?
There are two main reasons:
- lack of education and intelligence;
- consumer attitude as the norm of life.
For the same reasons, the number of divorces reaches from 50 to 70%. So it goes.
Consumer attitudes are ruining not only marriage (a good deed will not be called a “marriage”), which would not be so bad, but consumption as an ideology destroys the sincerity and warmth in human relations.
People are not looking for a comrade on the battlefield of life, but for a biological object that could satisfy their physical and psychological desires. And this is a big problem.
Hopefully, it became clear that the question of how to distinguish love from love does not come up with a short answer, because every time you have to look keenly at those who are under suspicion and draw conclusions.
The main thing is to remember: you are free and not obliged to be with someone who does not appreciate or offend you. Lifetime is transient and, unfortunately, irrevocable.
The all-Russian problem is that women have low self-esteem. This provokes various tragic collisions between the fate of girls. They live with alcoholics, drug addicts, allow their husbands to give up. Perhaps if a girl at an early age learned to distinguish between love and love, then we would all live a little better.