How are the 7 stages of love? Features of each stage and advice of a psychologist
All people dream of finding true love, which they can carry throughout their lives. Even materialists and rational individuals want sincere and long-term relationships. But experts in the field of psychology argue that, before creating a strong family union, it is necessary to overcome the 7 stages of love. Each of these steps is distinguished by its characteristic features. Seven stages of development of relations are described in detail in sections of the article.
The urgency of the problem
Love is a feeling that people have experienced at all times, from deep antiquity to today.
It is spoken about in philosophical and religious sources, art. Experts in the field of psychological science pay much attention to the study of this phenomenon. Even in ancient times, people noticed that a deep feeling is born far from immediately.The old texts speak of 7 stages of love. Such stages are all men and women who are in a relationship. However, in many cases, the partners part, and not overcoming the difficulties encountered in the process of living together. The gap occurs before the time when all the steps leading to a real, strong feeling, passed. A lot of books and articles have been written about the stages of love, psychology and features of this phenomenon. Reading such literature allows you to better understand not only the partner, but also yourself.
Why is it important to pass all stages and tests?
It is hard not to agree that it is very pleasant to look at the bride and groom on the day of the official registration of the marriage union. The partners' faces glow with happiness, they look at each other with eyes full of admiration and tenderness. Surrounding people do not even suspect that after a few years, and perhaps even months of living together, these people will quarrel and insult each other, and experience mutual hostility. In many cases, this is exactly what happens. What caused such a dramatic change in the relationship? The fact is that true love does not appear suddenly. It develops gradually.In order for the feeling to be strong and sincere, partners need to show tolerance and wisdom, as well as overcome many trials in their life journey. Only after passing through all 7 stages of love, it can be argued that the person and his other half found true family happiness.
Before considering each phase separately, it should be noted that both partners do not always come to a certain stage at the same time. In addition, the time to overcome the entire cycle may vary depending on the characteristics of a particular couple and the relationship between a man and a woman. However, experts say that most families reach the last stage in at least seven years of marriage. So, there are 7 stages of love:
- True and deep feeling.
Each of these steps is described in detail in the following sections.
Condition caused by hormone activity
This period, which is present in the relationship of any couple, devoted many famous works. A man in love is in the grip of strong emotions. Certain substances that his brain produces provide a feeling of euphoria.An individual is unable to rationally think, evaluate his partner. All that a person feels during this period is admiration, adoration and the desire to spend as much time as possible next to the second half.
Scientists compare the effect of hormones on the nervous system when in love with the action of drugs. Naturally, such a period quickly passes. Experts say that its duration varies from 12 to 18 months. Sometimes due to circumstances or the desire of partners to increase the time of love, it is delayed. In this case, people do not begin their life together, but are limited to infrequent meetings, telephone conversations, and correspondence. If the relationship continues to develop, there comes a second phase of the seven stages of love. The following section of the article is devoted to the description of this stage.
For several months, partners enjoy socializing with each other, as a person who can never get enough of the taste of gourmet food. But even the finest dish eventually becomes boring. The same thing happens with feelings. The first stage of the relationship can not be long, because this state can lead to physical and mental exhaustion. It is known that many lovers are prone to significant weight loss.Partners who begin life together, moving on to the next stage - addictive. This is the second phase of the 7 stages of love. A person begins to notice not only the merits of the second half, but also disadvantages. Moreover, negative qualities are more striking than positive ones.
This is the name at which the partners begin to doubt their choice of life partner. At this stage, disputes often arise, people are engaged in clarifying relationships.
This is the third stage of love from 7 stages. It is considered the most difficult. Many family alliances cannot overcome this stage and break up. Why is this happening? The reason is that people try to subordinate their partners to themselves, do not show tolerance for their views, personal characteristics and shortcomings. Some have new families, but face similar problems. After all, if you do not show tolerance towards your loved one, you cannot achieve true love.
Only those couples in which partners work on their shortcomings reach this stage. Most families come to this level only for 3-4 years of marriage.This stage is often timed to the time of birth of the child.
A woman pays her baby a lot of time. Relationships between partners are becoming more commonplace. They have a joint property. Turbulent quarrels are already unacceptable. Therefore, the task of this stage is to learn to be tolerant. But this does not mean that you need to endure everything silently. After all, sooner or later, the spouses will not have excerpts. Or the children will grow up, and the partners will understand that nothing binds them anymore. Tolerance is to accept the other with all his desires and characteristics. If the spouses successfully pass this stage, they understand that they are able to overcome differences through peaceful negotiations, avoiding quarrels and insults.
This phase is characterized by the fact that a man and a woman can do something for each other without demanding anything in return.
And this happens not as a result of love and the influence of hormones, but in connection with the presence of a sincere, conscious desire to help the spouse. A man serves his soul mate, not counting on gratitude and on the fact that he will be repaid in the same way.
This phase is the fifth of the 7 stages of love.The next step that partners achieve is respect.
At this stage, the partners already know each other very well, they had to face many difficulties during their life together. Spouses have learned selfless help and tolerance. At this stage comes a sense of gratitude and confidence in the second half. Partners communicate easily, openly express their views and emotions.
At this stage true love appears. It is born as a result of long-term work: work on one’s personality, tolerance, mutual understanding, and trusting relationships. Couples who reach this stage experience real pleasure from communicating with each other. Spouses come to the realization that love is the feeling with which you can improve yourself. It is not given to people just like that. This is the result of joint efforts. Such a goal can be achieved only after passing through 7 stages of love:
- True and deep feeling.
Features of building relationships in the stronger sex
Many women are interested in how to behave with a young man at the beginning of a romantic conversation. And this is not by chance. Knowing about the 7 stages of male love, you can understand how to show their feelings and how to build relationships with the stronger sex. So, the steps that take place in the period of communication with the girl young man include:
- Sympathy. At this stage, a man is more interested in the external virtues of a woman than in features of her character and level of intelligence. And each representative of the stronger sex has its own preferences about how a beautiful girl should look.
- The first attempts at courtship. This is the second of the 7 stages of man’s love. However, this stage does not mean having a feeling. A young man just looks at a girl, sometimes not even one, but several at a time. If the representative of the weaker sex does not respond to courtship and does not show interest, he does not consider it a promising option.
- To attract attention. This stage concerns the woman who shows by her manner of behavior that this particular man attracts her.The representative of the fair sex begins to develop a relationship with such a girl. Communication proceeds to the next phase.
- Long courtship. This is the stage of dating, gifts and pleasant trifles that so delight women. A man tries to create a good impression of himself.
- Conquest Now the representative of the stronger sex is trying to earn a sincere feeling of love. At this stage, young people prove to girls that they are ready for a serious relationship.
- Decision. This phase is characterized by the fact that a woman openly expresses her attachment to a partner and the desire to be with him, and the man reciprocates her. However, in the depths of his soul a young man begins to doubt the correctness of his choice. The representative of the stronger sex asks himself whether he is ready to start a family soon.
- Love. If a man still decided that he had made the right choice, he continues the relationship. It can be argued that his feeling is true. The young man cares about his girlfriend, shows tenderness, affection.
It can be argued that the development of relations in each pair takes place according to an individual scenario.It is determined by the characteristics of the nature of the partners, external circumstances. However, there are a number of laws that can be traced in the joint life of most people. Having an idea of how the 7 stages of love go through, it is possible to work effectively on relationships in a pair and more adequately assess your behavior and actions of the chosen one.