Electra complex in psychology. How to get rid of the complex Electra?
When we see a man walking with his baby-daughter on the street, we immediately be moved. How touching it is: strong hands carefully wipe their cheeks soiled with ice cream, gently tucked a strand into a pigtail ... In the meantime, the little one constantly hugs his father and does not leave him a single step. We are surprised at such sincere and deep mutual affection, not knowing what consequences in the future it is fraught with.
The Legend of Oedipus
Many have heard this tragic story. It was she who became the primary source from which psychologists drew information in the study of the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. Accordingly, the names gave identical. As for ancient Greek mythology, it was she who told the world about the little prince Oedipus, born of the Theban ruler Lai and his beautiful wife Jocasta.The joy of the couple was darkened from the first days of the existence of the baby, to whom the oracle predicted the murder of his own father. To avoid a sad fate, Lay ordered to take the boy to the mountains and leave him there to fend for himself.
Oedipus managed to survive: he was picked up and adopted by good people. Having become a young man and having learned from the soothsayers about why he was a foundling, the prince, distraught with grief, set off to find his destiny in distant countries. On the way, Oedipus met a noble stranger: a quarrel ensuing between them led to a duel in which Oedipus killed a wanderer. This traveler was Lai. Subsequently, after arriving in neighboring Thebes and freeing them from the sphinx, the young man received the blessing of the townspeople to marry a widowed ruler. She was the mother of Oedipus - Jocasta. The old oracle prediction is fulfilled.
The Myth of Electra
The roots of the problem also go to ancient Greek myths. They became the basis for the description in the modern psychoanalysis of the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. The name of the last concept was given by the famous student of Sigmund Freud - Karl Gustav Jung. He argued that the Oedipus complex is manifested in the blind adoration of the mother by her son.The result is his inability to build a personal relationship, since the ideal of a woman for him all his life remains a blood parent. As for girls, they likewise feel deep affection for their father, competing with their mother for his attention. Despite the protests of Freud, who used only the term "Oedipus complex", the analog proposed by Jung was well established in psychology.
According to mythological tales, the beautiful girl Electra loved her father Agamemnon so much that after his death she could not long be reconciled with the sad circumstance. Therefore, she persuaded her brother Orestes to kill their mother and her lover, whom she considered guilty of the death of her father. Thus was born the beautiful myth that gave psychoanalysis the concept of the “Electra complex”.
The problem can be noticed already at a fairly young age. The Electra complex in girls appears at about 5 years of age as an irrepressible attraction to the father. At the subconscious level, it has a sexual connotation, but in reality it takes the form of a warm, trusting, but simultaneously painfully attached relationship of the daughter to his own father, jealousy towards the mother and aggression and anger directed towards her.Between an adult woman and a baby, the connection is lost, the feelings cool down - they become practically alien.
This psychological phenomenon is an analogue of the Oedipus complex, when the boy raises his mother to the podium. For him, she is the ideal of femininity, beauty, sexuality, grace, intelligence and wisdom. The Electra and Oedipus complex is not considered a serious deviation. Psychologists say that the problem is easy to cope, there would be a desire. Also, many experts prefer to call the phenomenon a single term "Oedipus complex", not dividing it by sex.
Psychologists distinguish three main platforms on which the Electra complex according to Freud can safely sprout and develop:
- The physical similarity of the girl with her father. In this case, she considers herself not only his blood continuation, but also one whole, the second half, without which he cannot live a day.
- Unsuccessful marriage of parents when the mother becomes the reason for its termination. The rejected father seems to the baby unhappy, deprived of tenderness and care. Therefore, she unknowingly assumes the functions of a wife.
- Parents wanted a boy, instead a girl was born.In this case, she is trying to prove that an unexpected daughter will eclipse any heir. She is trying to become a “desirable son” for dad: she spends all her free time with him, builds a relationship of trust.
Interestingly, these prerequisites work on an unconscious level, forming a secret desire for the girl to be identified with her father. In this way, she unknowingly tries to prevent a divorce or win the love of parents.
Spiritual reasons for identification
The girl identifies herself with her father due to a number of factors. First, her own mother may want this. Faded feelings, new relationships on the side or the severity of everyday problems cause her to move away from her husband. Trying to avoid household chores, she unknowingly shifts them to her daughter. In addition, seeing in the baby similarity with her father, whom she blames for a failed marriage, she tries to take out the evil on an exact copy of her husband.
Secondly, in completely safe families, children may experience the Electra complex. Psychology calls this phenomenon the identification of a mother with a grandfather, when a woman who worships her father subsequently transmits the same attitude to her born daughter, thereby giving her a scheme of purely masculine behavior.Thirdly, the identification of a girl with a cruel dad occurs in order to free herself from the fear of him. Like, I'm as strong as you, and I have nothing to fear. The reason for the development of the complex may also be the baby’s desire to achieve mother’s love, so that the woman would be more supportive of a small copy of her beloved husband.
The development of the complex on a sexual basis
As already mentioned, psychologists often do not make sexual differences in this problem, attributing the complex of Electra and Oedipus complex to the same mental disorder. Although, if you dig deeper, there are a few small differences. It is known that initially the baby is equally attached to both parents: she loves her mother, she spends a lot of time with her father. But at about 4–5 years old, the girl discovers that her anatomical structure differs from the male one, the main feature of which is the presence of the phallus. Due to the fact that she has no appropriate body, the baby feels an acute shortage of this part of the body, considers herself to be flawed and envies the bearers of manhood.
The phenomenon simultaneously becomes the foundation for the development of female sexuality.Just in children of this age, it manifests itself in different ways. If your daughter has a heightened interest in the structure of the male genital organs, spies in the bathroom behind her father or brother, is happy to examine this part of the body in domestic animals, you should contact the experts. Ignoring the problem will lead to the fact that over the years, female sexuality will be suppressed as much as possible, and the absence of a phallus will cause the development of a mass of complexes and a sense of imperfection.
The girl's father as a carrier of manhood very soon becomes her ideal, the meaning of life. The child, without even realizing it, is experiencing a hypertrophied attraction to his father, often based on sexual desire. Therefore, having “earned” the Electra complex, the girl sees in the mother a real threat — a rival, the same “defective” and “deprived” being, like her. Hatred of a parent sometimes takes on such a serious scale that it can be a reason to commit a crime - murder. Or it leads to suicide of the daughter because of the impossibility to realize secret desires.
Unlike boys, who, having slightly tried on the phenomenon, often avoid the development of a full-fledged Oedipus complex, the physiology of girls becomes a favorable environment for maturing problems. With age, such women fail to avoid exacerbation of the deviation, which leads to serious consequences: various mental disorders, somatic diseases and nervous breakdowns.
Divorce and complex Electra
The classic situation, provoking a deviation - a divorce. In this case, it is often the father who leaves the family, leaving the child with a single mother. Having appeared without former financial and moral support, the woman begins to break loose on the baby. She may experience frequent psychosis, excessive irritability, which causes a response aggressive reaction of the daughter, especially if she is in her teens. The girl will certainly support her father in every way: that he finally realized what an evil woman his ex-wife is. Therefore, so that the child is on your side, pay him a lot of attention, do not shout and do not go to the conflict.
The situation is further aggravated by the rare meetings with the father and the gifts received from him.Against the backdrop of a kind and smiling dad, mom looks in an unfavorable light. The electra complex in the baby develops with cosmic speed. To smooth out sharp corners, a woman should spend a lot of time with her daughter, give her pleasant trifles, go shopping with her, relax on Sundays outside the city and so on. A girl should feel that her mother loves her and considers her to be necessary - in this case, mental disorder can stop her maturation.
Often, fathers veiled their paranoid attraction to their daughter with pronounced care and care. They do not allow her to go to discos, meet with boys, sit with friends in a cafe. Even ordinary cosmetics and short skirts are taboo. The parent is sure: people see in the girl the same qualities as he - maturity and sexuality. Therefore, it starts in every way to protect the daughter from society. After such moral pressure, a young lady can grow up with a complex gray mouse, who does not know how to display feminine charm and natural charm.
There are cases when, having understood his wrong attitude, a father drastically changes his behavior.He pushes the girl away, allowing her to fully act independently. The Electra complex is then supplemented with a manic sense of inferiority. A girl cannot, by the wave of a magic wand, switch to a new reality, she feels insecure, thinking that society is not able to recognize and appreciate all the positive qualities of her character.
Complex in adult women
Outwardly, she is a strong and independent woman. The level of emancipation just rolls over. She herself chooses partners and tries to achieve their location. If for some reason this does not work, then winning the heart of a particular man develops into a painful mania. She can pursue an object of love for years, often using perverted methods: blackmail, professional and amateur surveillance, or even anonymous threats.
Needless to say, outwardly and internally, these men resemble the father of a lady. The complex of Electra in the psychology of women sometimes manifests itself very unexpectedly. For example, a young lady often chooses too strong men who are hard to win and sometimes impossible to convince in the femininity of a partner.In addition, a woman with the Electra complex often chooses the male profession. She has many friends of the opposite sex. These young ladies marry rarely. If this happens, then not before 30 years. Usually the spouse of such a girl is much older than her, occupies a position in society and has a fairly enviable capital.
Complex Electra: how to get rid of?
In order to make a correct diagnosis, it is enough for the psychotherapist to communicate with the patient several times. Experts say that if you want to overcome the complex of Electra, the treatment must be competent and professional. It usually consists of a certain number of sessions with a doctor, collective conversations with people who have similar problems. You yourself will also play a significant role if you try with all your might to let go of your father. Inspire yourself that he is a wonderful dad, but as a life partner, it absolutely does not suit you.
Think father is imperfect. Remember its shortcomings, negative traits, mistakes and mistakes. It is very important to rethink the relationship with the mother: that she should be an example to follow, a reliable friend and adviser.Agree, the two same-sex creatures have much more in common than the woman and the man. Be able to discover in yourself a real lady, gentle, charming, flirtatious, playing with a look and a smile. And take an example from successful ladies who have managed to achieve a lot in life.